Becoming emotionally intelligent takes effort. It takes effort to be the bigger person.

Getting into an argument, whether you win or not, will always end up not being worth the effort. When you know that, when you are in the process of realizing that getting into a fight just because of things you don’t have control over is smart. You are becoming emotionally intelligent. Tap yourself for that!

You are a person with complex emotions.

There are moments when you are not fond of yourself; especially when you choose to get upset and be mean because you didn’t get what you want. These are the moments when your feelings are valid yet irrational. We all wear that shoe. Whether you are holding back or feeding your ego to lash out is completely within your control. It’s about how you react and handle things.

The million-dollar question is, how do you feel after that? Awfully disgusted was how I felt when I chose to be mean to the sales staff. I was young and thoughtless, and the worst part was that I tried to become someone I was not.

This scenario took place 10 years ago. I purchased a case for my 15″ laptop, but it didn’t fit as it was too big. Consequently, I didn’t feel secure using it for my laptop because it didn’t serve its intended purpose of protection. Despite returning it immediately, they refused to allow an exchange. I had a brief moment to act rationally and kindly, but instead, I opted for the “don’t intimidate me” approach. Aside from not getting what I wanted, I felt terrible after that encounter.

This 10-year-old scenario is not what triggers me to write this post. The truth is, I was craving something, and my sister didn’t seem inclined for a food delivery. She told me to fry the fish instead. Small things. LOL. I tried hard not to respond to my sister in a mean tone to maintain a positive atmosphere.

Over 30 years, I’ve met a variety of people. Through my observations, I’ve found a simple key to emotional intelligence: slow down your thinking.

Breath. Pause. Think slowly. It is better to say less than regret it later on. It takes effort to be the bigger person.

If you want to improve your emotional intelligence, you may visit the HelpGuide.org article. Self Awareness is what I unlocked recently.

How about you? Have you tried on these shoes as well? How does it affect you in becoming emotionally intelligent?