I woke up this morning so tired, t’was still early 3am so I went back to sleep waiting for the time when I am suppose to stand up and go shower. Wake up call came and took long for me to go shower, my eyes still falling and my body just can’t resist but yes, I need to keep going. Shower helped a bit, when I am preparing my stuff I feel so stupid. Didn’t prepare my school uniform last night, didn’t fix my things. I am not ready for the day. When I was my way downstairs, bag is heavy added pain to my back. Yes my back hurts, it started yesterday. Everytime I laugh, smile, take a deep breath the more it hurts. I was almost going to drop the book and notebook that I am holding and throw away my bag but still I went down and ate breakfast almost 5am. As I am eating I recall what my bestfriend told me, “You should start counting on yourself”.
Carrying my bag and school stuff I am holding in my hands without asking my friend to help me, is this counting on myself? If I am almost giving up everything (stop school and quit job) this day how much more in coming days that I need to face all alone and not depend on others?
Some times, I just need to cry.